As I prepare for the birth of my second child I have come to realize that there is really nothing at all that is the same as the first time around. Morning sickness, yeah, ok, that’s pretty much the same, but everything else is different. Everything. I think there are a couple of reasons for this. First, it’s the second time around. I have a better idea of what I need and want for my child. Second, I have a better idea of the type of parent I want to be. These changes range across the entire spectrum of parenting, but for today I’d like to discuss that nagging baby registry!
Close to everything that I put on my registry and was given as gifts is being sold or given away. (Sorry friends and family!) When I was pregnant with Jack I referred to the book What to Expect When You’re Expecting. A book I would now never recommend to another Mama. I figured the longer the baby registry list the better. Here is an example of a baby registry list from a mainstream resource.
Nursery:
crib (1)
crib mattress (1)
changing table (1)
glider or rocker & ottoman (1)
dressers or chest (1)
nightstand (1)
hamper (1)
hangers
Bedding:
crib bedding set (1)
fitted crib sheets (4-6)
mattress pads & waterproof pads (2-4)
sheet savers (2)
changing table pad (1)
changing table pad covers (4)
receiving blankets (4-8)
crib blankets (4)
swaddle blankets (2-4)
wearable blankets (2-4)
Car Seats:
infant car seat (1)
convertible car seat (1)
Strollers & Carriers:
travel system stroller or traditional stroller (1)
lightweight stroller (1)
carrier (1)
diaper bags (2)
Feeding:
breast pump (1)
nursing pads (1 multi-pack)
breast milk storage containers or bags (2)
nursing covers (2)
nursing pillow (1)
baby support pillow (1)
bottle starter set (1)
bottles, 4 or 5 oz. (6-10 each)
bottles, 8, 9 or 11 oz. (6-10 each)
slow-flow nipples (8-10)
medium-flow nipples (8-10)
fast-flow nipples (8-10)
bibs (8-12)
burping cloths (6-12)
pacifiers (6-8)
pacifier holder teethers (3-4)
high chair
Diapering:
diapers, up to 8 lbs. (4 value boxes)
diapers, 8 to 14 lbs. (5 value boxes)
baby wipes (4 value boxes)
diaper cream & ointment (1)
diaper pail & refills (1)
Bathing & Infant Care:
baby bath tub (1)
baby bath towels (6-8)
wash cloths (10-12)
shampoo & body wash (1 each)
body lotion (1)
Grooming Kit:
brush, nail clippers (1)
thermometer (1)
humidifier (1)
air purifier (1)
aspirator (1)
laundry detergent (1)
Clothing:
bodysuits (10-12)
sleep & play (6-8)
side-snap shirts (4-6)
gowns (4-6)
pull-on pants (6-8)
socks (6-8 pairs)
caps, mittens & booties (2-4 each)
Safety:
monitor (1)
baby gates (2)
outlet covers & plugs
cabinet & drawer locks
first aid kit (1)
Play Time:
infant swing (1)
bouncer (1)
play yard (1)
play yard sheets (2-3)
play mat or baby gym (1)
infant toys (5)
jumper (1)
stationary entertainer (1)
books (3)
DVDs (3)
music (3)
My husband suggested that you add “new house” to this list because that is what you need to fit all of this stuff. I vividly remember being overcome with panic at how I would be able to get all of this stuff. How in the world is a person supposed to look at that and not freak out? I’m going to be straight up with you. This. Is. A. Racket. 99% of this is totally non-essential and will most likely end up being more annoying than useful anyway. Trust me. I am going to go through my personal experience with this list. And let me tell you, I either bought or was gifted everything on it.
Nursery-We bed-share so we sold our crib and all of its accessories. If you use a crib obviously that will be different for you. However, I would skip all of the fancy bedding and just get a fitted sheet with maybe a waterproof pad.We have the glider and the ottoman and will keep them. Most changing tables are pieces of crap. Ours is broken. I am going to get a set of drawers for storage and use the top as a changing table. Many of my friends don’t even use a changing table and just use the bed or floor, but I prefer to have one. I find changing table pads a waste of money and just use a towel. We don’t have a night stand for Jack. Not sure what he would use that for. And hangers? I wash clothes, throw them into open drawers and hope they land inside. We have several receiving blankets. This list suggests 4 different types of blankets probably because they sell all of these kinds and want you to buy them. If you follow this list you will end up with 16 blankets. Save your money for a picnic in the park.
Car Seats-Yes, you need a car seat. If you have a car. You need 1, not 2. I went onto Consumer Reports list of safest car seats and picked the cheapest one. If you have a preemie or a very small baby you’ll have to take that into consideration. In my opinion infant seats are a waste of money because you have to buy a new one in less than a year. I suggest a convertible seat that will grow with your child.
Strollers and Carriers-Contrary to popular belief you can practice Attachment Parenting and still own a stroller. You might want 1, not 3. I suggest a light weight or umbrella stroller. Those big fancy ones are really heavy and annoying. I had one and felt like I was driving a semi-truck down the street and looked just like that when trying to turn the corner. I suggest babywearing for the majority of the time, but strollers can certainly be handy. I have heard so many times that baby carriers are too expensive. I never hear this complaint about cribs, strollers or rocking chairs. I think it’s because we have been so accustomed to thinking we need them that we accept that they cost as much as they do. Babywearing is not as common a practice in the US so we see this as a luxury item. I could not disagree more. I think a baby carrier is one of the most important items you will buy. It’s essential for your baby to be close to you as often as possible through their infant months. It will help with breastfeeding, brain development, napping and feeling as if you have the freedom to still get things done when you want. Click here for more information on baby carriers. And finally, I find diaper bags to be a huge waste of money. When I don’t just throw a diaper and some wipes in the pocket of my Ergo I throw some stuff into a backpack.
Feeding-This section is super confusing to me and I wonder if I need to walk down the road of conspiracy theories or just accept that breastfeeding is so misunderstood that there is no way around the misinformation. First, you are going to need more than 1 pack of breast pads for crying out loud. I never leaked, but if you do I’m pretty sure you’ll be done with that pack pretty quick. Even better, opt for reusable pads. As for storage bags, I can’t get over the fact that it suggests 2 packs. If you are going to pump and store your breastmilk in the freezer you are going to need more than that! The nursing cover; it’s up to you, not some store or list, if you want to cover while breastfeeding. And if you choose to do so please don’t buy 2 covers! Sheesh, you only need one or you use a lightweight blanket. Unless you roll around in mud while breastfeeding I’m pretty sure the 1 cover will do ya. You’ll obviously need to get all of the bottles and nipples if you choose to bottle feed. If you are breastfeeding you might still choose to have this option. But don’t feel pressured. Don’t let some baby registry list disempower your innate ability to breastfeed your baby without the help of a pump and bottles. For breastfeeding you need your boobs. That’s all. But they can’t make money off of this so you will likely experience some pressure. The list also suggests that you need 6-8 pacifiers. WTF? Use your boob and maybe throw in a couple pacifiers if you want. 6-8 is a bit excessive.
Diapering-Just use cloth diapers and coconut oil and call it a day! I started out with sposies with Jack before I knew anything about cloth diapers. Now we are a cloth diapering family, but even I will use sposies in the first few days/weeks of my new baby’s life. I just feel like it will be easier. Click here for more information about getting started with cloth diapering. For wipes we use wash cloths and a spray bottle of water. You can avoid even more chemicals by using coconut oil as diaper cream instead of the drug store stuff. Also, skip the frequent bathing with soap. Your baby needs all of the natural oils that they produce. I plan to get in the bathtub with my newborn about once a week and do a quick rinse with warm water as we nurse and snuggle.
Grooming Kit-I have never had any use for an air purifier or a brush. For nail clipping I use my teeth.
Clothing-The new baby will wear all of Jack’s old clothes. I don’t need a “stitch of new clothing” as my Dad said. If this is your first baby I would get some bodysuits, onsies, snap shirts, pants and socks and call it a day. No matter what you do you will end up with more than you need. People love buying baby clothes.
Safety-Just take a look around your home and do your best, but there is no better baby proofer than a baby. Adjustments that you need to make to your home will become crystal clear. Just follow them around and let them show you!
The living room stash.
Playtime-I feel like I need to do a whole blog post on this section alone. You are going to need some serious floor space to fit everything they suggest. I had a swing and a jumperoo and no longer have either. Your baby wants to play with you. If you save your money on this and put it toward that beautiful wrap you love your baby will be content at your chest for hours. (My personal suggestion for putting the baby down is below.) No matter how you plan toys will end up in your home. I would skip the DVDs and other media for as long as you can. Listen to the music you like listening to (Green Day is a favorite of Jack’s). And finally, the (3) after books is simply sad and a true reflection of our culture. We try to limit the battery operated toys to encourage imaginative play and we read tons of books. My husband, an author, still hasn’t recovered from seeing that list.
Getting ready for the new baby has been a process of getting rid of things. We have not bought much. We purchased a twin mattress to go next to our queen mattress so that everyone will comfortably fit into the family bed. I have also purchased a set of drawers to replace our broken changing table. And when people ask what I want as a gift I will reply “pocket cloth diapers, please!” I will also need to purchase some things for the home birth, but I will save that for the next blog post dedicated solely for how I am preparing for that. This is my personal interpretation of the mainstream baby registry list. You will have your own. We’re all the same, but a little bit different.
I will leave with a selection of some of my favorite things from Jack’s newborn days that I think will be just as important to us this time around.
My ring sling, Ergo and Moby will be home to another little boy.
I used this to keep Jack close when I need to nap. I loved it.
I have learned about this since having Jack and will definitely be getting the Nuroo Pocket.
Abby Theuring, MSW
