{"id":4690,"date":"2017-11-08T03:48:23","date_gmt":"2017-11-08T03:48:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thebadassbreastfeeder.com\/?p=4690"},"modified":"2017-11-08T03:48:23","modified_gmt":"2017-11-08T03:48:23","slug":"comes-breastfeeding-everyone-answer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thebadassbreastfeeder.com\/?p=4690","title":{"rendered":"When It Comes to Breastfeeding Everyone Has the Answer"},"content":{"rendered":"

I haven\u2019t been totally honest with you. I haven\u2019t been sharing my true breastfeeding journey for a while now. I was at first. I was all kinds of honest about how much breastfeeding drove me crazy, how nursing aversion set in and how I felt so touched out. I also shared the triumphs and the beauty. I still share that freely, but something has happened to my expression of the bad days.<\/p>\n

I got so sick of hearing, \u201cWell, time to wean!\u201d And even the less obvious but still obnoxious, \u201cYou really need to listen to your body and it sounds like your body is telling you it\u2019s time to end your nursing journey. But you have done so great, you should be proud!\u201d Thanks, but I didn\u2019t ask for your opinion and I don\u2019t need your directive on how to feel much less on where I am in my breastfeeding journey.<\/p>\n

\"Abby<\/p>\n

I got so sick of reading those comments and hearing those snide remarks from random people who I dared express a moment of frustration to. Why are we so weaning focused? It\u2019s like as soon as we latch a baby on it\u2019s all, \u201cWhen are you going to wean? How long are you going to breastfeed?\u201d Why can\u2019t a person just breastfeed and see how it goes? Why do we have to know the end before the baby can even suck, swallow and breathe at the same time?<\/p>\n

I have had struggles at jobs. Real miserable times at jobs I\u2019ve had in the past. No one ever once said to me, \u201cWell, you should just quit!\u201d I\u2019ve had struggles in my marriage and other personal relationships as we all do. No one ever said, \u201cWell, just get divorced!\u201d This is not a normal thing to say to people so why do we say this to breastfeeding moms?<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t know. But I got so sick of hearing it that I pretty much stopped posting so much about my personal struggles. It simply adds to my frustration when I am trying to have a conversation with someone about my feelings and they just totally shut me down with their weaning advice.<\/p>\n

That\u2019s the other thing. We hate feelings in this country. Especially from women. Express anything other than delight and pleasantries with a smile on your face and everyone goes running for the hills.<\/p>\n

Well, I am done. I am not doing anyone any favors by not sharing the whole story. I don\u2019t care anymore what people have to say about my personal breastfeeding experiences. I continue to breastfeed because I feel it is right for my family. That\u2019s pretty much all you need to know about that.<\/p>\n

And as for liking it all the time. Give me a break! Guess what? I have feelings. Lots of really big and uncomfortable feelings! And I don\u2019t always like breastfeeding. Actually there are plenty of things to not like about breastfeeding! No one likes it all the time. There are even days when it\u2019s hard to like it all!<\/p>\n

\"Abby<\/p>\n

Sometimes my head hurts because I roll my eyes so much at my son asking for \u201cboobie\u201d for the 683rd<\/sup> time today. Sometimes his mouth bothers my nipple so much I pull it right back out. Sometimes I don\u2019t want to breastfeed him at all and tell him \u201cno\u201d while he kicks and screams and tantrums. Sometimes when he starts to stir at night I stare at him with big, glowing eyes trying to send him cosmic sleeping vibes so he doesn\u2019t wake up. Sometimes when I sit on the couch and he turns to crawl toward me I hop right back up. I have gone entire portions of the day standing at the counter so that he can\u2019t reach my shirt. Sometimes I don’t like breastfeeding, just don’t like it at all.<\/p>\n

Even after all that I choose to continue to breastfeed. And I will for as long as I feel like it\u2019s a good decision for me. And that\u2019s all you need to know about that. I don\u2019t owe anyone an explanation. And the next time I am expressing my feelings of frustration to you about breastfeeding the polite thing to say is, \u201cI\u2019m really sorry you\u2019re struggling. That sounds hard!\u201d<\/p>\n

I share these stories to be a part of this community of breastfeeders who are feeling every feeling on the spectrum. The moms who know it\u2019s not fun all the time. I share these stories so that no one has to feel alone. And so that no one gets the idea that breastfeeding is always like sitting in a meadow of lilies on a sunny day. Actually you should know it\u2019s never like that. Never. Breastfeeding is lonely at times and it\u2019s always hard work. And there are very bad days. But as long as you find any reward in it then march on you badass. And screw all those people who think it\u2019s easier just to wean. Boy are they clueless.
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