Do you create structure in your day to make sure you are meeting your own needs? It took my ages to figure this out for myself. But when I did I felt like I got ground under my feet again. It’s far from perfect and it doesn’t change the stress of parenthood, but I overall do not feel like I am free falling through life anymore.
Running is my jam. I bought an expensive jogging stroller 2 years ago and we still justify this purchase as an investment into our mental health. It has really changed it all for me. I run everyday that the weather lets me. It’s hard in winter in Chicago, but running season is upon us. I have reviewed our “rules” to make sure that the jog goes smoothly (because at first the chaos just transitioned into the jog before I created structure within the structure.)
They can bring snacks, but they have to hold them the entire time. I cannot provide long winded answers about the universe while running. Ask me a question and I will answer it when I am done. They need to use their own problem solving skills during the run because I cannot referee and they need to focus on getting along. And this last one is a great practice for me as well to try to let them work their own things out!
This is my thing that is mine, time that is mine. We have a list of family agreements and “mommy runs” was added to it last year. It’s not negotiable. When there is complaining I explain that each family member has to take care of themselves and this is how I take care of myself. It has become routine because I made it part of our routine. It was not going to fall into my lap. As much as I need this for myself I hope that they can learn about taking care of themselves and learn to give loved ones the space they need to care for themselves.
