You’ve heard a lot about gentle parenting styles. You nurse, you think spanking is wrong, you care if baby is crying, and you do like hummus… But how can you be sure if Smugtachment Parenting is the right fit for you and your family? Answer Yes or No to the 10 questions below and determine your score!
1) Do you want what’s best for your baby?
2) Do you feel you’re better at having a baby than the other people?
3) Do you make a habit of keeping the sweaty barnacle close to your also sweaty body?
4) Do you micromanage everything your partner does and send them articles during the day to try to make them a parenting clone of yourself in every way.
5) Have you suspected that your child will grow up to be smarter and better looking because of your parenting style?
6) Do you think your toddler might not ever tantrum like other people’s kids do because she feels so affirmed and paid attention to?
7) Breastfeed? Oh Smugliciousness! Your golden ticket.
8) Do you rush to sultan’s side in response to his cries and find yourself saying things to a four month old like “mommy was sending a quick little note to our new friends Susan and Nate to see if they would like to meet at Baby Group today! Sometimes mommy takes just a small moment to do something by herself – I’m so sorry if you felt mommy wasn’t there. Thank you for telling me how you are feeling!”
9) Do you ever find yourself reading anti-CIO articles as porn.
10) Do you set loving limits for your toddler and notice a nice smug glow when you look in the mirror later?
Your Score:
- Fewer than 5: Oh honey. Time to get on board. We need you to work just a little harder. You must not be under enough pressure to really be the best mother you can be. If you can take that up a few notches, the feelings of Smug will follow- that’s a promise!
- 5-8: Here in Smugtachment Parenting we’d call you a dabbler. You’ve clearly got what it takes but you’re just a little lazy. Spend a little more time with online resources and a little less time on Facebook. We’ve seen enough photos of your child, time to put down the camera and start digging into that Smugnection.
- 8-10: Congratulations! You are truly the perfect parent, and everyone around you knows it. You shower regularly and pluck your eyebrows, you juggle with ease adult conversation and connection to your child in social situations, and you are self-assured and confident when questioned about your parenting style. You are an advocate for yourself and your child, you nurse without shame, you never yell, and you always have healthy snacks and stainless steel water bottles with you.
A stay at home mom by day, a classical singer by night, Rebecca started the blog Smug Mommy as something fun to do to release some of the built up tension. She ended up accidentally practicing most of the principles found in the parenting philosophy called Attachment Parenting, but has often struggled with how seriously it takes itself. Smug Mommy is a resource for parents who dabble in the Smug idea that this way of parenting is the bomb. Rebecca thinks it is, but likes to roll her eyes about it. Rebecca enjoys one hour a day after babe’s bedtime to drink wine, peruse Facebook for parenting drama, and on Monday she watches The Bachelor.
***Find more from Smug Mommy on her website and Facebook.
