I have been putting this off for 3 & ½ years. For a long time, I couldn’t even think about the birth of my twin girls without crying and I could barely talk about it. I realized at one point that unless reminded, I went through my life as if those first 5 days didn’t happen. I was pregnant and then they were here; everything in between was just a dream.

Now it has become a dull sort of pain that is just another part of my tapestry. I don’t dwell on it or even think about it much, and I often forget how open and raw the wound is until something reminds me and the tears flow like I flipped a switch. These sudden reactions always catch me by surprise. [Read more…]