What is the Difference Between Attachment Parenting/Gentle Parenting and Permissive Parenting?
For me, Atachment Parenting (AP) does not mean permissive, however, I have noticed that it becomes that way for some. I think the problem lies in starting out AP with infants when their wants and needs are the same. Often we have come from backgrounds of very mainstream parenting and so the discipline we know is spanking, time outs, etc. but we don’t want to use those types of practices on our children as they get older. People don’t know how to teach and guide their children any other way so end up getting walked all over; they want their children to be happy, and are afraid of their big emotions. Another aspect of this issue is that there seems to be this either/or mentality; either the parents are in control or their children are. The fact that there is another option of mutual respect and understanding of a child’s developmental capabilities, etc. does not seem to occur to some or factor in to how they deal with conflict as it arises. I give my children quite a bit of freedom compared to many parents of toddlers I know, but the difference is that when they are “acting out,” for lack of a better sense of the word, I look for the need behind the behavior rather than treating them like they are being “bad” just for the sake of it. I stay connected to them so that I am easier able to figure out what is underlying their behavior. Most importantly, I respect their autonomy and their feelings, and provide plenty of opportunity to have control over their lives. Every situation is new and is dealt with separately, not like an ongoing issue, because that’s how toddlers think. And I don’t shame them. When I need to set a limit, I do so gently, “I’m not going to let you do that.” Or “you have already had 2 cookies, I don’t want you to have another right now.” And if the limit involves an action, like they are about to hit or kick or grab, I will gently hold their hand or foot; holding the limit, while also stating it. If this induces crying, I don’t try to stop that or fix it; I just stay with them, supporting that release of feelings. This has helped us through many transitions and rough patches. I read Alfie Kohn, Naomi Aldort, Magda Gerber, Pam Leo…there are many others.
By Alice Romolo
My Exclusive Pumping Journey (9 Months and Going Strong)
By Chasity
After my failed natural birth, all I wanted to do was hold my son in my arms and breastfeed him. I wanted to be my son’s sole nutritional provider. I wanted to feel the inseparable bond that breastfeeding mothers talked about. I wanted my heart to warm as my son gave me a milky smile. I wanted my son and I to have the health benefits of breast milk. Breast milk is easier to digest, and lowers the risk of respiratory infections, asthma, obesity, type 2 diabetes, and skin diseases. It also lowers the mother’s risk of ovarian and breast cancer (both of which I have a high risk of getting). While I was pregnant, I watched breastfeeding videos and went to Le Leche League meetings. In my mind, there was no way breastfeeding was not going to work out for me. [Read more…]
Breastfeeding with a Supplemental Nursing System (SNS) by guest blogger Jessica
I tried so very hard to keep her just breastfed, but I didn’t have enough tissue. She dropped her birth weight and for almost 4 weeks continued to be underweight. I was forced to start supplementing. So while I worked on building my milk up (while everyone around me told me I was killing my baby by not just putting her on a bottle.) I used a supplement feeding device to keep her at my breast and to stimulate more milk production by sucking.
Breastfeeding and Friendship by guest blogger Kristen
I just want to share my store in honor of National Breastfeeding week!
This is my best friend and I nursing our babies in oct of 2011. My daughter (Violette) an her son (Callan) were born 1 day apart. Having no luck breast feeding our other children, we were a good team in supporting each other throughout this journey. Both determine to succeed in solely breastfeeding, we had great success and formed a special bond around nursing our babies. [Read more…]
The Pink of Your Lips by guest blogger Stephanie
The pink of your sweet little lips
as you excitedly accept my nipple
will always be a reminder of the love
and attachment you have to breastfeeding.
However, gentle nursing is no longer the phrase
to describe the way you nurse a toddler. [Read more…]
Our Birth and Lactation Story
by Bethany
I had planned to have a drug-free water birth at The Birth Cottage, a freestanding birth center in Milford New Hampshire. I had watched documentaries such as “The Business of Being Born,” “Gentle Birth Choices,” and “Orgasmic Birth,” and therefore was very well-informed of what goes on in many hospital settings. I didn’t trust hospitals and knew I wanted my baby to be born in a safe environment where the baby would remain with me and not be separated after birth, and where I wasn’t at risk of having unnecessary surgery. I had taken childbirth classes in the Bradley Method to prepare for a drug-free birth, during which we read about the many possible dangers to the baby of drugs during labor. I had interviewed and chosen a doula to provide labor support. I even chose to go to a birth center in New Hampshire, rather than having a home birth in Massachusetts where I live, because the laws regarding midwifery are different in New Hampshire and I knew that should I need to transfer to a medical facility, a New Hampshire midwife would get a lot more respect at a New Hampshire hospital than a Mass. midwife at a Mass. hospital. Midwives are actually licensed by the state of New Hampshire, and therefore are acknowledged providers there. [Read more…]
