Breastfeeding and being a mama of two isn’t easy, it’s something I’m still figuring out. How I talk to myself while figuring out Tandem nursing because I’ve been struggling nursing my oldest but it’s getting better.
I’m trying not to think about how she’s playing with my body. How she’s taking his milk. How she’s big and awkward and leaves teeth marks or that I can’t make it through a nursing session with her without bargaining for her to get off me. Or make it through a nursing session with him without her begging for milk.
I try to think about how she needs it too or else she wouldn’t be doing it. Whether it’s for nutrition or comfort, she needs it. Then my tension melts away slowly as if I started a Scentsy. It’s not immediate. I try to pass the time writing things like this to help. I look at my little baby and see that he is healthy and sleeping. That she’s resorted back to baby things like me changing her diaper etc. So she’s just trying to figure all this change out. It’s only been a month. Her life is completely different but nursing can at least equalize us a little bit. I think back when she was a baby and how concerned I was that she would wean too early and it makes me laugh now.
I breathe slowly in and out. I think it’s honestly my body equalizing out too because she sucks all the milk out so fast. I just get this sensation that I don’t like. Maybe this is nursing aversion? I’m being patient. I’m trying to let her stop for once. He’s full. He is fine. Even though he’s waking up. It will be OK . She has to stop eventually. She has to so be patient mama.
I’m building supply. I’m building supply. I made it through she’s happy . Her heart and mine are full and I can have a break oh wait she wants more milk. Lol she distracted herself. Time to get off the couch and do something.
***Jenn Novak just began her tandem nursing journey and will be sharing her experiences with our community.
