My #breastfeeding journey has been an amazing one. I did not get the birth I had imagined, but breastfeeding healed that. I had pictured this beautiful, natural, no-intervention birth. Instead I got every complication I could.
The day before Everett was born, we were going to get pancakes at our favorite little diner for breakfast . I sat down to tie my shoes, stood up and thought I peed my pants. My water had broken, though not at all like the TV portrays it. There was no “pop”. No immediate, intense contractions and rush to the ER. There wasn’t even much fluid. And I still wanted pancakes.
So knowing I wanted a natural birth and to be in the hospital as little as possible, I changed my pants and we headed to get pancakes and began the wait for labor to begin, but it didn’t. Finally hours had gone by. It was around 6pm so I called the hospital, who told me to come in. We did and I was hooked up to monitors, only to be told I needed to be induced due to risk of infection since my water had broken, Everett was no longer protected and labor was not starting. So much for my natural birth.
I decided we would do the induction to keep him safe but I still wanted to do it without any other drugs if possible. I then learned Everett was facing the wrong was, causing his skull to press into my spine, resulting in horrendous back labor. Due to the induction, my body’s natural labor rhythm was thrown off and forced to speed up. I went into shock from pain and collapsed while throwing up in the bathroom. I was informed by the doctor that there was no way to stay unmedicated at this point as my body was under too much stress to allow labor to progress and that risked C-section.
I relented and got the epidural they had been pushing, to my enormous disappointment. Naturally, it didn’t work correctly, but by noon the next day, I was fully progressed and allowed to start pushing. I had Everett in my arms at 1:20 PM – I pulled him out myself.
All of the disappointment of the traumatic birth I had just experienced was immediately washed away when my instinct kicked in as I brought him to my chest, and put him to my breast. Minutes old, he latched and my heart filled. We haven’t stopped since, with no intention to until he decides he’s done. It my not be for everyone, but breastfeeding is for us.
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