They’re everywhere these days. Those amazing breastfeeding photos that make breastfeeding look romantic, easy and fun. Even the ones featuring gymnurstic toddlers and tired moms can bring rush of wistfulness to us hormonal breastfeeders. But one of my last breastfeeding photos posted to the Facebook page got me to thinking…
I posted this photo.
Beautiful, huh? Yeah, it’s exactly what I was shooting for. Me smiling down at my boys. Them holding hands. We look comfy and in love. It represents how I often feel inside. I feel like a powerful and beautiful mother who loves breastfeeding. I feel like I have it all figured out. I feel like we are living in harmony.
And after about 15 minutes of dealing with what actually happens in my life we got it. My sister was in town and I asked her to take some pictures. I have so many selfies, but I don’t have many tandem shots or shots taken from a few steps back where you can see the whole scene. I knew what I wanted to capture; with the extra set of hands I was able to put forth the effort. But seriously folks, it was an effort! When I read the comments under this photo I felt a bit bad. The worst of it is when some said I make it look easy.
Holy Fucking No Way.
No, there is not much easy about breastfeeding and not much easy about this moment! But I really wanted to have one of those special photos where it actually looks on the outside the way it feels to me on the inside. One the outside it’s chaos. Exley is popping on and off. Jack is poking his finger into Exley’s eye. Jack is sliding down my leg. My sister is trying to find a way to get both latches in the picture with no hands in the way. And on any day of the week this is how it is. Throw in the daily battle with nursing aversion, parenting stresses and all of the other wonderfully overwhelming situations that life brings. There is a major gap between this photo and reality.
But this photo does capture something real for me. On the inside I feel successful, empowered and strong. Despite all of the chaos and difficulties breastfeeding and being a mother has given me many things to feel proud of. This is why we love to share these beautiful breastfeeding photos. Not because we have it easy, not because we don’t struggle, not because we are trying to fool anyone, but because we just feel so awesome and wonderful sometimes that we want a really moving photo to represent it. Not always, but sometimes.
When I read the comments that I make breastfeeding look easy I felt sort of bad. I felt like I was being deceptive. So just so we are on the same page here are the rest of the photos from that photo shoot.
Abby Theuring, MSW
