Jack asked me, “Mommy, is everyone born with something that they are really good at?”
“Well, sure. I guess. Probably more than one thing.”
“What are you good at?”
A wave of anxiety came over me. Shit, what am I good at? Holy shit. I’ve prided myself on being good at so many things. Think of one. I found myself trying to think about me and my life. Something I don’t do much of anymore.
I’m usually just an extension of Jack and Exley these days. I realize I don’t think I am great at the things that have filled my days for the last 7 years. The parenting things. Staying calm, maintaining balance, providing them with a solid foundation to grow. I don’t think I am good at those things. I don’t think that’s what he means anyway.
Before kids, sure. I was great at advocating for my clients in court. I was good in a crisis. I got pretty good at being a team player. I’ve helped a lot of people. All about my job. It’s all I could think. I’m thinking now I had just as hard a time before kids finding balance, knowing myself, connecting to who I am.
“Helping people.” I blurted it out after way too long of a pause. Phew. I came up with something.
“Before you were born I had a job where I helped people. Kids. Kids that were having problems.”
“Oh yeah, I remember. You helped kids without parents, right?”
“Yes, I did. I was good at that.” I went on to tell him all about my job, the different jobs I had, getting my master’s degree and places I worked. He hung on my every word and asked me lots of questions. It. Was. Awesome.
“Actually that’s what happened with The Badass Breastfeeder. It became an extension of what I have always done. Help people. Just now it’s helping people breastfeed instead of kids in the system.”
“Oh, it’s pretty cool being the son of The Badass Breastfeeder.”
“Yeah. Jack, you made me The Badass Breastfeeder.”
His eyes got wide. “Oh my god. That’s a million times cooler.”
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I realized after I wrote this that this week The Badass Breastfeeder is turning 7 years old. I went back to my photos to find this one. My husband took it to be the first profile picture for the page. Jack was 8 months here. With a wicked latch to boot.
